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You have been stomping around for a good three hours. Your legs are starting to feel wobbly, and there is this thing in your shoe that’s bothering you. You shake your foot but it doesn’t go away. So you end up removing one shoe. You turn it upside down, and a small rock falls out of it. How did it get there? Who knows. It was bothering you this whole time, but you didn’t pay attention. You were laughing and smoking cigarettes, closing your eyes to the sound of music. ‘Here you go’ somebody says, handing you a beer out of nowhere. A few days back, you met that person on WhatsApp. You don’t know each other, but you understand each other: you like the same music.

That’s how I imagine partying with a stranger.

While I have not experienced this myself, Sarp has. Sarp is a thirty-something-year old textile and marketing consultant who lives in London. He took part in an initiative at RALLY festival this year, one that I want to talk about for this piece. A week or so before the start of the festival, RALLY posted an update on Instagram:

“If you’re currently RALLYing alone, but would be open to experiencing the festival with new friends, we’ve just opened up a channel for connection.”

Getting strangers together for a dance?

What a brilliant idea. It was the first time I saw a festival doing anything like that and it intrigued me. Just last year, I went to Glastonbury alone. And while I still highly recommend it, I understand it might not be everyone’s cup of tea. After all, music festivals are about the music, but also about the in-between moments: going from one stage to another, queuing for food and sitting down to share a beer.

If you don’t have anybody to do that with, you might end up missing out on doing things you want to do. I thought it was a good gesture from the organisers to try and avoid that. Generally speaking, it’s nice to meet new people and there are many ways to do that. I think sometimes the fear is that you might end up meeting people who are very different from you. More often than not, it’s actually people who are just like you: brave and curious. I really wanted to know how it all unfolded.

So I rang Sarp and we talked about it.

Sarp is super chatty and open-minded.

The first thing he did to take part was fill in a form.“I think they wanted to pair people up who wanted to see similar things”. After that, the all-mighty WhatsApp group was created. It counted about 60 people, all around the same age and all down to making new friends. To kick things off, Sarp organised a lunch for people to meet before the festival.

In theory, it should have worked, but in practice “we went out for lunch as an icebreaker kind of thing, only two people showed up.” Undefeated, he said it was worth it in the end:

“The two people I went to lunch with, we now message each other everyday. So I think mission accomplished.”

During the festival, people constantly messaged on the group. He said it was nice to know what people were up to and introduce yourself:

“The fact that I could tag along with a couple of people encouraged me, otherwise I wouldn't have gone, I think.”

I wanted to know why he took part in the first place. I wondered, did he have anybody to with at all? A delicate question, that could make some people uncomfortable. But not Sarp. “I just wanted to get to know people. I didn't have an idea of making friends per se. I can make friends pretty easily”. Rather than going alone or not going at all he reached out.

“I think, like most people are afraid to reach out to one another or they only have a very small circle to reach out to.”

We talked for a good half hour but could definitely have chatted longer. To put things into context, I wanted to know more about the state of his friendships in London. “Friendships are really important for me” he said but “forming friendships is difficult because finding people you click with is very difficult.” We ended the conversation agreeing that music brings people together:

“Music is a nice gateway for that, I feel, because even if you don't like see eye-to-eye, you can still bond over music.”

I hung up smiling.

And I realised music festivals like RALLY offer more than just a lineup of performances. They create spaces to connect in meaningful ways. It somehow allowed this piece to exist too, and with it a reflection on how to from new friendships. It reminded me of how easy it can be to turn strangers into friends, if we’re willing to take the first step.

Words: Alice Rizzo

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